If You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get: How to Ask for a Pay Rise Without Sounding Desperate

Every week someone messages me:

"I’ve been at my job for over 2 years. I’m underpaid. I’ve taken on more work. How do I ask for a raise without ruining everything?”

Here’s the hard truth: no one is going to voluntarily give you more money just because you’re doing a good job.

Companies are watching the bottom line. If you don’t ask — clearly, calmly, confidently — they will assume you’re content with what you’re earning.

1. Know the Market Before You Say a Word

If you ask for a raise without evidence, it feels like guessing. People don’t pay guesses — they pay value.

Tip: Use salary comparison tools. Check what similar roles are paying in your industry, in your location (or remote). Screenshot listings. Get your numbers ready.

2. Timing Isn’t Everything, But It Matters

Don’t ask during chaos. Don’t ask right after a loss. Don’t ask on Monday morning when your manager is drowning in emails.

Tip: Request a meeting on a neutral day. Say it’s about “your role, responsibilities, and next steps.” Don’t spring it on them mid-project.

3. Don't Start With Emotions

It’s tempting to open with, “I feel like I deserve more…” but feelings won’t close the deal. Focus on facts.

Bring proof. Show what you've contributed, how you've gone beyond your role, and what others in your position are earning elsewhere.

Tip: Frame it like a business case. Use data. Say, “Since taking on [X], I’ve delivered [Y]. Based on current industry standards, I’d like to discuss adjusting my salary to reflect that.”

4. Practice the Silence

Once you ask, stop talking. Don’t explain it 10 different ways. Don’t backtrack. Let it land.

"I’d like to discuss a raise. Based on my performance and the market rate for this role, I believe £X is a fair adjustment."

Then zip it.

5. What If They Say No?

If they say no, the conversation isn't over. Ask what would need to happen for a raise to be possible. Get it in writing. Set a timeline.

• “What targets would I need to meet for a raise to be reconsidered?”
• “Can we review this again in 3 months?”
• “Would a promotion path be more realistic here?”

If there’s no path forward, you’ve got your answer: they don’t value your growth. That’s a green light to look elsewhere — not a failure.

6. Bonus: How NOT to Ask

Here are common ways people sabotage their own pay rise requests:

• Comparing yourself to coworkers ("Jane gets more than me")
• Threatening to quit with no plan
• Saying “I need more because my rent went up” (your bills are not their responsibility)
• Dumping it all in an email and hiding behind your screen

Final Word

You don’t need to be aggressive. You don’t need to apologise. You just need to ask with clarity and evidence.

People don’t get what they deserve. They get what they negotiate.

If this helped you, forward it to someone still hesitating. You might be the reason they ask — and finally get paid what they’re worth.